Life Support Part 5

However, early Monday morning, September 27th, 2010, I received a call saying he was slipping fast.

I immediately got dressed and rushed to the hospital.

Upon arrival, I was ushered into where dad was lying, he was still alive, but I suddenly decided to turn his Life Support off.

Of course, there were numerous forms to fill in before that could happen.

Once they were completed, and I had drunk several cups of coffee, we walked to where dad was. I was left alone to say my Good Byes to him.

I said, “Dad, it’s ok for you to go and join mum, I know she is excitedly waiting for you, don’t worry about me, I know you will all be looking over me, I Love You, you pain in the fucking arse.”

I kissed him, then let the Doctor and Nurse back in. I was able to turn the system off, but in my own time.

I think it took around 15 more minutes, but I did.

Unlike in the movies and TV shows, he did not pass away quickly, it took another 15-20 minutes before he stopped breathing. I feel it was the machine.

I got scared as his eyes suddenly opened, I felt he was still there and would be ok.

The Doctor told me it does happen, it’s just a reflex action.

Finally at 6.15 am, Monday, September 27th, 2010, dad was declared deceased.

Life Support Part 4.

Once home, I let the office know about dad and requested privacy from everyone if possible. They agreed and a sign went up to reflect that.

I went to my room, grabbed my towel and toiletries, then went to have a shower.

I came back to relax, but text my best friend about what was happening, I didn’t go into details, instead requested we meet up the following day, she agreed.

I did go outside to briefly explain about dad being in a coma but stopped short of revealing my big decision. I told them just enough to keep them off my back.

I went for a walk to get some lunch, but also get fresh air and this may sound strange but talk to mum and see what she felt.

I felt her presence but couldn’t feel her decision. I understand why.

This didn’t help my decision any easier.

I then took a slow walk back home and went to have dinner. I was allowed to take my tray and food to my room to eat.

Afterwards, I went to have a bath, then an early night.

The following morning, I woke early, had a shower, then dressed, grabbed my keys, wallet and phone and walked to the station.

I travelled to see my friend, and of course, being cheap Tuesday, we decided to watch a movie. What movie we saw, I forget, as I was thinking about dad.

Once it was over, we went to buy a cup of tea each then sit and chat. I went into full details and of course, broke down crying.

My friend consoled me saying, “Look, I know he is a pain in the rear end, and you would prefer he stays alive, but if he does, you will need to stop working, can you put up with being there for him full time again as his carer?”

I hadn’t thought about that and decided to go to see the person I used to deal with when I was on the Carers Pension, just to get some information.

As I was known there, I still had to wait, but this person knew it was important and would attend to me quickly.

I asked her advice, and was told I might be eligible, but she asked if it was worth it, especially given his age. He was 74 at the time. I agreed, and thanked her, then left.

I called my friend to tell her. I was still undecided.

Yes, I was being selfish at the time, because he was a pain, but he was my father.

N.B. At the time, I had forgotten about certain things from my early years.

The next few days, I spent at the hospital with dad. Even that couldn’t help me.

I decided to spend the weekend alone to try and make a final decision.

My friend’s husband and son had planned to go visit his mother for a few days. She lived in the same town I was living when mum died. I had been invited to come stay with my friend for company. She had to work. I accepted.

I decided not to turn his life support off.

Life Support Part 3.

I headed back to the restaurant precinct near the hospital. I ordered some take away and waited.

Once I had the food, walked to the railway station and ate whilst waiting for the train.

As it was a Sunday, trains were every 30 minutes, and I had just missed one, which gave me the chance to eat.

The train arrive spot on time. I knew the guard and was able to travel with her. I broke down almost immediately. She comforted me.

Once we arrived at my station, I bade my farewells and alighted.

I slowly walked home.

I knew deep down, dad was not coming home this time.

Once home, I went straight to bed, but plugged in my phone first.

Suddenly my phone rang. I answered it. It was the surgeon giving bad news, but asked me to get to the hospital asap. She advised me as to where he was now.

I got up and quickly showered, dressed and ran up to the bus stop. It was around 2am.

A bus arrived not long after. I boarded. Thankfully this time of the day, it was more an express bus. Once we approached my stop I pressed the button.

Alighted and ran to the hospital and the Emergency Department. I advised who I was and where I was needed. The Receptionist made a call and after a few minutes I was escorted to where dad was.

I was thankful for the escort as I got lost.

As we arrived, a Nurse was there and she showed me to where dad was lying.

N.B. From hereon in, this may disturb some people, I advise no one under 18 read on. I’m crying and haven’t started yet.

Dad was hooked up to many leads and machines and asleep. I immediately knew the worst.

The Nurse asked if I would like a coffee. I nodded, then she left.

The surgeon soon arrived and we started chatting, but she insisted we chat in a quiet room.

We walked there, and as we arrived; I saw my surname written on the whiteboard. I was told this is my room to sit and reflect, but each time rooms may change.

The Nurse brought my coffee in and left.

The surgeon then proceeded to tell me what happened.

She said, “Ok, your father’s surgery went well, however, just as we were closing him up, he went into a Cardia Arrest (Had a Heart Attack), he was pronounced dead for a short time, but we revived him. Once he was stabilised, I placed him in an induced coma.”

I said, “Ok, great that knot has been fixed, I’ve been at him for a while, what are his chances?”

She said, “Yes. Honestly, not good, can you tell me about your mum, please?”

I responded, yes, and did that.

Once I’d finished, she then dropped the bombshell.

She said, “Ok, In my opinion, I feel your father’s life support should be turned off so he can join your mother, it is the most humane thing to do, what do you think?”

I took a gulp of the steaming hot coffee, then said, “I need to think about this, whilst I agree, I’m pro life, I’m really not sure it’s the best thing for him. How long do I have before a decision needs to be made?”

She said, “Ok, yes, I know it’s hard, you take all the time you need, but the sooner the better, it’s almost 4am, would you like to stay in here and nap a little, I’m going off shift at 7am, I’ll come back with some breakfast for you just before then, ok.”

I said, “Thanks, that would be great.”

She went and got me a blanket and brought it back, then I lay down to try and sleep.

Sleep did not come easy, as I now had a very difficult decision to make.

Honestly I considered pulling the plug right then, but I needed to be 10000000% sure I was doing the right thing, not for me, but dad.

I did fall asleep, but briefly.

I was woken by a gentle knock at the door, then it opened. It was the same nurse from earlier, bringing my breakfast in. I thanked her and she left.

A short time later there was another gentle knock, I allowed entry, it was the surgeon to ask how I was. I advised about my lack of sleep, but need a few days to decide.

I advised about my previous instructions with dad for visitors.

As dad was in an ICU: Intensive Care Unit, visitors were limited and as I was NOK, I had the final say over who visited, and all I wanted was me.

She soon left me alone to finish my breakfast, which for a Public Hospital, was rather delicious and filling.

Once I’d finished, I relaxed a bit, but then got up and went to place the tray where it belonged.

I met the day staff and advised I would come back in a couple of days’ time.

I thanked everyone and left. I walked to the station to catch the train home.

Life Support Part 2

Once the new crew was on board, we headed to the hospital.

Upon arrival, dad was taken straight to a cubicle and with help, we got him changed.

I knew the Medical staff, and where the kitchen was. I went to make a coffee and wait until the Doctors had finished examining dad.

I was given the news: He was being admitted for observation.

I agreed as he needed this stomach issue dealt with and hoped he would finally undergo surgery.

Around 7am the following morning, I left and headed home for some much needed sleep.

I had left my contact details with the staff, with instructions:

I was the only one authorised to visit dad.

Upon arrival home, I was bombarded with questions. I advised everyone of dad being admitted to hospital. Of course, they all wanted to visit him, but I advised against it, saying, He is under observation, once he feels better, I may change my mind. I never revealed the visitation restrictions.

I finally got to my room and collapsed on my bed, crying heavily, which put me to sleep.

I never knew a thing until late the following day when I woke up.

There were many notes and cards placed under the door, some nice, others disgusting, which got me angry and upset.

I put my phone on charge, which had gone flat.

I grabbed my towel and toiletries then went to have a long, hot, relaxing bath and cry again.

My phone had charged up enough for me to check messages and calls. I only had messages from my best friend. I messaged her to advise about dad and why I had not replied. She was at work, so I knew she would not reply for a while.

Once finished, I decided to go for a walk. I was starving.

However, I on the way, my phone rang.

it was a private number, and I knew it was the hospital with bad news.

I answered, and it was a Doctor informing me dad needed to go to surgery asap. They needed my permission to operate. I asked why it wasn’t dad, she informed me he was unconscious again, and as I was NOK, it was up to me.

I informed her, I was on my way. Got her name and dad’s new location.

Once I hung up, walked to the bus stop, just as a bus was arriving. I boarded, validated my pass, then went to sit down.

Once we arrived at the nearest stop, I alighted and walked to the hospital and up to where the Doctor had advised me to go.

Upon arrival, she showed me into a quiet room and advised about the surgery, but also why dad needed it.

I’d already agreed he did. I signed the forms and was shown to the kitchen to make a coffee and have something to eat, as I had not eaten in 2 days.

The surgery was estimated to last around 2-6 hours, but dad would be out cold for a further 2 days to allow his body to recover.

Life-Support Part 1.

I’d like to begin by acknowledging the Traditional Owners of the land on which we meet today. I would also like to pay my respects to Elders past, present and emerging.
Disclaimer: As usual, what is written below is my own personal opinion, and may vary from yours. It doesn’t mean to say that either is correct or incorrect, that’s what makes us all Humans.
This blog is from personal experience and is very hard for me to write.
Please be advised this is in several parts due to the length of it.
I have never revealed this to anyone, not even in my True Story.
However, I need to get this out.
I’ve always been Pro-Life but agree with terminations only as a last resort.
What I say below, I would never wish on my 2nd worst enemy, because of how much emotional turmoil it may cause.

September 17th, 2010:
I had just gone on 2 weeks leave and transferring to a new location. I had hired a car to transport my belongings. I was due to return the car to the rental place at 5pm, which I did.
I arrived home to the room I shared with my father, in Private Hotel Inner West, Sydney.
My father had collapsed into the garden bed and was unconscious.
My first instinct was to call an Ambulance, then notified the office.
The Ambulance arrived quickly, but only had 1 Paramedic, but we all assisted him to transfer dad to the unit.
We stopped at the station to change crews.
Back Story:
My father had complained about a twisted stomach for several years, but despite my best efforts to have him get it looked at, he refused.
This latest collapse was caused by this.
From January 2006, he had been in and out of hospital.
He was not an easy person to live with or try to help.

This is the end of Part 1. Please standby for Part 2 tomorrow.

Sunday Cleaning Tip: Mattress.

Did you know? Our mattresses contain bacteria that can hurt us.
However, there is a way to eliminate, or at least reduce them.

First up: Remove sheets and blankets.

Step 1: Vacuum thoroughly.

Step 2: Grab steam mop, with a clean pad, then steam mop, just light slow moves.

Allow an hour to dry.
After an hour, flip mattress & repeat steps 1 & 2.
Allow to dry.

After  an hour, repeat.

I find 4 steams helps, this may take several weeks to fully eliminate the bacteria.

I suggest this, upon purchasing a new mattress, perform a steam mop, as it will eliminate a lot of the factory, transport, warehouse odours.

If your mattress is heavy, please get help.


Thank You for reading these tips this week.

Saturday Cleaning Tip: Bathrooms/Lavatories.

Update: To scrub floors, use a mixture of vinegar and water in a spray bottle.

Most people think using an exhaust fan will remove steam.
They remove most surface steam.
Best way to ensure all moisture has gone, is open windows for a few hours.
This will allow the bathroom to fully clear.

Upon arrival back, grab the items mentioned yesterday.
For safety, please wear disposable gloves.
I start with vanity mirror.

Then use anti bacterial wipes, wiping down the surfaces, including taps/faucet/s & outer side of vanity, discard.

Grab a blue cloth & wipe over, removing residue. Then grab a microfibre and remove streaks, this should shine them.

Next, if you have a bath, spray the bath with an environmentally friendly product, then grab a scrubbing brush and scrub the bath, then the taps/faucet/s, grab the wipes and wipe over the bath. Continue until completely wiped over. Grab microfibre, same.

Then moving onto shower.

Spray the shower screen, grab your scrubbing brush and scrub the shower screens. Grab a blue cloth and wipe over, followed by a microfibre cloth.

Next spray the taps/faucet and wipe with a blue cloth and microfibre.

Next, spray the floor, in sections, scrub the tiles until all scum removed, move onto the next section. Once completed, use the shower head to remove the residue, if any scum left, repeat, until all scum removed.

Once finished, vacuum bathroom.

Grab spray mop, place a red microfibre pad. In the water bottle, 3/4 fill with clean, filtered water, then fill with disinfectant. Place in holder, then mop bathroom.

W/C: Grab toilet brush & clean inside. Then pour some cleaner in bowl. Then use an antibacterial wipe, wipe top of seat, then cistern, under seat, outside of bowl.
Wipe over with a blue cloth only, discard.
Mop W/C, ensure a red pad.

Once floors dry, you can steam mop both areas. Please don’t use carpet glider, (triangle plastic), as it will scratch the tiles.

Once completed, wash cloths, spray mop pads & steam mop pads, separate from normal clothes. I usually add 2 capfuls of disinfectant. I also conduct an empty clean, by pouring some disinfectant into drum.

Tomorrow: Mattress.

Friday Cleaning Tip: Windows

Who abhors streaky windows when you have cleaned them?

Hopefully my tip will help you make them shine bright.

You will need: Paper Towels, Blue Cloths, Microfibre Cloths.

This will surprise you, but I’ve found the best window cleaner is:
Car Wash.

Take a clean, dry spray bottle, 3/4 fill it with clean, filtered water, then pour a capful of Car Wash into the bottle.

Screw the trigger back on. Shake well.
Spray once or twice, depending on window/mirror size.

Grab paper towels, tear off 2 or 3 sheets, then wipe window until most of mixture gone.

Grab a blue cloth to clean off excess. Grab a microfibre to remove residue and shine the window/mirror.

You may have to repeat several times, each window/mirror is different.

You can wash blue cloth & microfibre cloth.

Tomorrow: Bathrooms/WC’s.

Thursday Cleaning Tip: Carpets

Did You Know: Most people only vacuum their carpets, assuming all dust particles have gone.

That is not correct.
If you follow my tips, you may have a cleaner house.

Before vacuuming, grab a scrubbing brush, then gently scrub the carpet, this loosens deep down particles & removes hair too.

Once done, grab your vacuum & vacuum carpet.
After, get your steam mop,

Kmart $49 & $9.50

Follow instructions, then steam mop carpets.
This helps kill any bacteria left, but also freshens the room.

Please get written permission from your landlord if renting, before using Steam Mop.

When finished, spray the room with your previously home made air freshener.

I would not step on carpet for an hour.
You can steam again, as it may reactivate air freshener scent/s.

Tomorrow:  Windows

Wednesday Cleaning Tip: DIY Air Freshener

Take a clean, dry, spray bottle.
Remove trigger.

Pour in clean, filtered water around 3/4, then put 10 drops of your favourite essential oil/s each.

Screw trigger back on, shake well.

Spray each room until scented.
I usually do this just before leaving home, so floors can dry whilst out.

Safety: hard floors may become slippery when mix reaches floor.

Update: When MCC becomes operational, each candle buyer will receive a free air freshener made from your scent choices.

Tomorrow: Carpets.

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