Disclaimer: As usual, what is written below is my own personal opinion, and may vary from yours. It doesn’t mean to say that either is correct or incorrect, that’s what makes us all Humans.
I’d like to begin by acknowledging the Traditional Owners of the land on which we meet today. I would also like to pay my respects to Elders past, present and emerging.
I DO NOT BELIEVE IN, NOR AGREE WITH CHEATING when in a relationship.
Some people may get angry and/or upset with what is written below, however, this is all my own personal opinion.
Over the years, I’ve noticed how many people have become complacent when in a relationship and some, if not all, will make assumptions about the relationship.
To me, the best way to ensure transparency is having an agreed, written, signed agreement.
This can provide information about what both parties will or will not accept, do, and tolerate during the relationship.
Honestly, I feel before living together, both should take a 3 month NO CONTACT break from each other.
If when the time is up, the spark is the same or deeper, then go for it.
The reason for the above, is because too many people rush into relationships/marriage, and in the end, the relationship turns nasty.
In my opinion:
MARRIAGE IS FOR ETERNITY
Below are my boundaries:
First Dates, Both Pay their own way, unless there is written documentation saying who is going to pay, and what both agree to on the first date.
Minimal Physical Contact for at least 6 months, usually restricted to a hand shake before and after the date, maybe holding hands whilst watching a movie in a cinema.
Not staying over at either residence until the 6 month mark.
Before proceeding with an intimate physical relationship, both will have 2 clear Blood Tests, at least 3 months apart.
Mutual agreement on where any travel occurs and who drives.
Driver of vehicle chooses radio station, or music and volume levels.
Agreed times to speak on phone.
Treat each other Politely and Equally.
Treat each others friends, work colleagues and family equally, fairly and politely.
Ask Questions To Clarify With Anything.
Listen to each other, and allow time for a response.
If a disagreement, however, if 1 needs time to think, allow it.
Never take the other for granted.
These are just some of my requirements and demands.
You may wonder why I prefer written, signed agreements:
The answer is simple:
I DON’T TRUST ANYONE EASILY, THEREFORE DEMAND THESE WRITTEN AGREEMENTS.
In all Honesty, I’m happy being alone and single, because it means I’m not TAKEN FOR GRANTED.
Granted, I do feel depressed at times especially when important events occur, however, most of the time, due to my Anxiety, Depression, Bad Nerves, Insecurity and Shyness, prefer my own company.
I also want to say, just because someone has never had a long term adult relationship, or married, is up to no good. I know many people who have suffered childhood trauma, most of the time, we get over it, however, sometimes something will trigger our memories, which then causes us to become withdrawn.
For me, My Migraines will suddenly hit me, without warning, either whilst sleeping, or out.
June 2022, I tested positive for COVID-19, since then, have never been as sick in my life. C-19, I feel has exasperated my migraines.
Anyway, I digress:
If more people had written agreements, then there may be less confusion, violence, and subsequently fatalities.
Honestly, I’m mystified as to why people accept workplace contracts without thinking, yet, in our personal lives, complain about protecting ourselves.
I’m also looking at written, signed agreements with future friendships too, due to how some have felt they can use and abuse me, and many have done that in the past.
Many people in relationships will listen to others about their partner, and will sometimes do what they are told.
The only people who matter in a relationship, is the people in said relationship, no one else.
It’s ok to listen to advice from others, but ultimately, the decision/s lies with those in the relationship.
Granted, many people in relationships will get jealous of others, I know, because I’ve been the victim of this happening to me, when there is no basis for jealousy.
Anyone who cheats on their partner, deserves to be strung up.
© Mel’s Customised Candles Melbourne, Australia, 2022