Disclaimer: What my version of trust is, may differ from yours, or even Society in General.

Trust to me, is when you can be totally open and honest with someone and they are the same way too.

Trust also means that each is comfortable enough to open up knowing what is said, will not be revealed to anyone else.

Personally, it’s rare for me to reveal my inner feelings to someone.

To date, only 1 person has been lucky enough to know 95%,


Because I was ashamed of something, I never revealed to her.

Something I will always regret, because had I been totally honest with her, she may not have booted me out of her life.

She is the reason I’m a female, because she was the first person to see that I was a female, even at 4 years old, we both knew.

The reason why I have Trust & Intimacy issues is because from the age of 6-14, I was molested by an older relative. I only remembered this in 2018, when an ex-associate spread vicious lies about me online. Thank You JTM.

I was also the victim of a very vicious joke when I was 16, where I was so badly assaulted that I became infertile, but also reduced my interest in anything remotely physical by 99.9999999999999%.

Over the years, many people have been nasty towards me, hence why I keep quiet.

Therefore, when I do open up to someone, it means that that person calms me enough to Trust them.

My biggest trust issue is when I go out. I need to use Zebra crossings and will step back to wait until it is all clear of traffic. The reason for this is because many years ago, whilst crossing a Zebra crossing, a motorist who had stopped to allow me to cross, then started driving towards me.

This motorist and his passengers all laughed and hurled abuse at me.

I was still a male, therefore forbidden from showing my emotions.

This may sound weird, but COVID has allowed me to trust more, via online meetings.

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