© M A W JENSEN 2021
This is a summary of my life, which has 2 chapters:
“My Life Summarised:”
If you would like to read more detail about what my life was like growing up, please go and purchase:
“Mark’s (Pathetic) Existence.”
Chapter 1: My Life, Summarised.
I was Hatched at 11.30am Friday May 28th, 1965, in a South Western Sydney, Australia, Hospital, and assigned Male. My Assigned Birth Name was Mark Warren Jensen.
My parents were building our new home. The day mum and I were released from hospital, dad took us to the new house. It was not fully finished then. As mum went to get out of the car, her leg slipped on some rubble, causing her to lose her grip on me. I fell on to my head and screamed the suburb down. This is why I’m so ugle. Dad immediately took us back to the hospital. After several days observation I was released.
My first few years, was kept isolated from everyone else, the only people I had dealings with were my family. Mum’s lived in North West NSW, whilst most of dad’s were in Sydney and the Illawarra area, and all of those cousins were boys. I was the only one with a Blister, who was hatched in late 1967.
When I was 4, I began my drug habit, Caffeine. I had a sip of my mother’s coffee, I was hooked from then on.
Started school at 4 in 1970, met a great girl, I’ll call Claire Baire, she changed my life.
Not long after we met, we were at her place one afternoon when she decided to get changed. She knew me so well and could see there was something wrong and asked, “Are You Ok?” I Sobbed, “No, you are so lucky to wear almost nothing.”
She Smiled, “Do You Want To Swap Clothes?” I never answered, just smiled and we did.
Once we exchanged clothes, a light bulb flashed in my head, saying, “You Are A Gurl
G U R L.” I knew then, but there was a problem, South Western Sydney, Australia, 1970, was a very traditional area, meaning Boys date Girls and Vice Versa. Boys didn’t date Boys or Girls didn’t date Girls, and heaven forbid, Freaks and Weirdos (That’s How I felt) Didn’t date anyone.
My dilemma: Even though I had a Groovy Girlfriend who, well for a child’s perspective, we loved each other, not sure exactly how much. I felt that I was a gurl and should be interested in boys.
Claire Baire and I would continue our dress up sessions at her place most days and hated when I had to be a boy again.
I still thought there was something wrong with me, so kept my feelings and weirdness to myself, CB did too.
Age 6, my trauma began. An older male relative started molesting me which continued until age 14. This caused me to become even more withdrawn and have major trust issues. I remembered this late 2018, when I started having nightmares after another TransGurl spread vicious lies about me online.
Age 9, mum and I were watching a documentary about a Transsexual woman, and everything clicked in to place for me. I told mum, who promptly told me to tell my father.
My father was ex-Defence Forces, and very much a Homophobe, although then I didn’t know the word. I knew that if I told him, I would either be killed or disowned. I decided to forgo my happiness to keep the peace.
At age 9 0r 10, experienced tragedy for the first time. A younger cousin by around 5 months was killed in a car accident. He had been warned many times to wear his seat belt but was too complacent. Him and I had been very close and had he lived, I’m sure my life would have been different.
My cousin and I looked alike, when his mum was released from hospital, she stayed with us, but refused to look at or even acknowledge me for almost 6 months.
My cousins on my father’s side started treating me differently, but at the time, couldn’t figure out why.
One of my male cousins told me to “Do The World A Favour and Drop Dead.” I have only recently realised why he said that, and why I was treated so badly. They blamed me for our cousin’s death. I was in bed asleep when the accident happened.
My world came crashing down when I was 14, in 1979. CB decided to break up with me.
To this day, don’t know why, but wanted to talk to her to sort things out.
I was told, “She Hates You, Leave her Alone, You Are Better Off Finding A Girl Who Will Love And Obey You.” I believed him because he was my father.
I feel that CB got tired of my elusiveness. I was ashamed and embarrassed about being molested as boys were not the victims. TBH, I don’t blame CB for breaking up with me, even though we had a strong connection, in the end, it wasn’t that strong.
I was ridiculed and bullied still and copped so much flak, not only from boys but girls too.
Age 16, accused of touching the breast of a fellow student, something I still say I didn’t do, and if I did, it was accidental, especially as I was very racist and sexist. This other student was of Mediterranean heritage.
I was punished, but these girls decided that I deserved more and tricked me in to the girls bathroom late one Friday afternoon. Once I was naked, I was knocked out. I woke up hours later, bound, gagged and tied to the cistern of a toilet, still naked. This was winter and in those days there were gates, not doors. I remained there until Monday morning. When I was found, I was hours from death. I was also told that someone had squeezed my genitalia so hard, it was a 98% chance that I was infertile. I never told my parents, nor anyone, until I wrote my True Story.
Met who I thought might be “The One,” in 1985 and it was fun, although non-sexual, but that ended mid-1986. Again, I was lied to, actually by her, but I found out many years later the truth.
I stayed in male dominated jobs, Factory Hand, Courier, Parcel Delivery, Bus Driver, Blood Delivery Driver, Train Cleaner, but since moving to Melbourne, have done House Cleaning and Call Centre work, and at times a Mystery Shopper/Auditor. I even tried being a WebCam Girl for a while, but it failed, too many free loaders.
Over the years, have been accused of various things, Thief, Liar, Prostitute, Drug User, Abuser, and the lies spread by the above mentioned TransGurl. I have a Clean Police Check and a Statutory Declaration saying that it’s all lies.
This Trans Gurl, was the first in 35 years thought I could trust, but for reasons unknown to me, she blocked me, although feel she was lied to about me.
She is why I no longer use my real name publicly on my novels.
Those in the LGBTIQA+ community don’t just wake up one day and say hey, I’m Gay/Lesbian/bisexual/Transgender etc., no it takes a long time to admit to ourselves that we are “Different,” and it could take many years before we admit it to others.
Well that’s what it was for me, others could be different.
Every time I have been physically intimate with someone, I have been forced to because others have made the following assumptions: “He is Too Stressed and Needs To Get Laid.”
Most people judge and make assumptions about Transgenders, based on what is or is not between our legs. Gender is about how we feel and present, not all transition to be more Physically Intimate, I identify as Asexual. Asexuals have no interest in anyone physically. I don’t like touching others as it makes my skin crawl, again this is because of what happened when I was a minor.
We just want to get on with our lives and become worthy tax paying members of society.
This is my second time living as a female, as the first time around, I copped a lot of negativity. During that time, I didn’t feel right and everyone told me that I made an ugly female, this was my supposed friends and work colleagues.
Another misconception because a Transgender may have transitioned from Male to Female or vice versa, this does not mean that we want to date someone of our assigned birth gender. I was assigned male at birth, but when I date, only date females, because Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation are 2 very separate things .
For most Employers, Transgenders can benefit their business as we have lived experience as a repressed community and can assist businesses to be more inclusive, and sometimes the business may be able to tap into the LGBTIQA+ community as most prefer to support LGBTIQA+ friendly businesses, I do quite often.
When a person finally accepts themself as Transgender, the hard part begins.
First step, seeing their GP, who will refer them to a Psychiatrist or Endocrinologist who may request blood tests to determine the correct hormone dosage.
Once on hormones, set about making small changes in their life. For me, November 2013, when I decided to seek medical help, I made the decision to discard my male underwear and start wearing female briefs only.
I was advised about a great Psychiatrist in Lake Macquarie NSW, Australia, and obtained a referral for him. My first appointment, he said he would give me his approval.
Next, deciding a Transition date and if employed advising the Employer about the name and gender change.
Once the date is set, then the official documentation is started. First is the application to change their name, then once approved and money paid, the person formally changes their details with every organisation they are associated with.
Most Australian Federal Govt Depts will allow the name change, but until surgery, their birth gender is still officially recorded, we can with documentation, change the gender marker on our Passports now.
Not every Transgender wants complete surgery but is discriminated against because of their assigned birth gender.
Those seeking surgery, research Surgeons. Had I done that in 2014, I would been complete by now. The surgeon here in Melbourne that I’m hoping, costs $25,000, which includes the Anaesthetists fee. Part of the cost may be rebatable from Medicare.
This surgeon does not operate on uninsured patients; therefore, the patient must seek Top Hospital Health cover, that is now $175, well for me anyway.
Once the 1st Psychiatrist provides their approval, the person then seeks a 2nd Psychiatrist who then listens and if they feel the person is suitable, will eventually give their approval. This approval is not permitted to be given until around 3 months prior to surgery date.
The patient is also required to obtain laser hair removal on the affected genital areas, this is to prevent hairs growing inside the Neo Vagina. These treatments vary in cost and are not rebatable from Medicare.
The payments for the Surgeon are made at least 14 days prior to surgery, and also the excess amount for the hospital is paid by then, usually $500.
Some people travel from interstate and book in to suitable accommodation, sometimes partners and/or friends travel too, as they will be needed after discharge.
Surgery Day: Arrive at 6am to complete final paperwork, then escorted to your room and change. Once Pre-med has been given, patient goes to surgery.
After surgery, it’s 3 days bed rest, then twice daily salt baths, and shown how to dilate, this must be done several times per day and is for the rest of the patient’s life, this is to prevent the Neo Vagina from closing up.
Discharge: as early as 6 days after surgery, with the patient remaining in the city of surgery for another 4-6 weeks, this is in case of any complications, but also to see the surgeon. Interstate residents would be looking at another $3-5,000+.
1 of my goals, funded from eBook sales, is to establish a recovery centre to reduce these costs.
Time off work is around 2-4 months, but it depends on the patient and their employment.
If anyone reading this, ends up with a child who is Gay, Lesbian, Transgender or any other form, please listen to them and their needs, because I wish that I could have been brave enough to tell my father. Honestly, I’m surprised that I’ve lasted this long.
Children know at a young age what gender they are, but most people assume, instead of asking questions.
I fully support children transitioning, as the younger a person starts, the less likely hood of developing characteristics of their assigned birth gender. Just look at Georgie Stone, (Mackenzie on Neighbours.)
I would also advise they have some sperm or eggs frozen, just in case for the future.
These are my favourite sayings: “Never Assume Anything, Always Ask Questions To Clarify, Because Ignorance Is No Excuse For Stupidity.” “People Lie To Manipulate Others For Their Own Selfish, Jealous Ulterior Motives.” “Education Is Key To Knowledge.” “Everyone Can Learn From Others, If They Are Willing To Listen.”
As a Transgender female, it appals me when so many people use derogatory names. Please have respect.
Thank You for allowing me to tell my story, I hope I have educated you all.