I apologise in advance if some of what I write is too much for you, however, I have written it to show how honest I am. I cried heaps whilst writing this, as it reminded me of certain people and events.
I was assigned male at Birth: Hatched at 11.30am, Friday, May 28th, 1965, in a South Western, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, Hospital.
My assigned Birth name was: Mark Warren Jensen.
I was the first born to my parents, but the rest of my family, there were many more ahead, therefore, by the time I was hatched, the novelty of a new baby had worn off.
My parents kept me very much secluded from everyone, except our family.
Things got worse late 1967, when my stupid blister was hatched.
My life improved February 2nd, 1970, when I started Primary School, even though I was scared, because I had to socialise with others, something I was unaccustomed too.
When mum and Julie left, I ran home, beating them. Mum drove me back to school and marched me into the Head Mistresses office.
After a few minutes, mum and Julie left, then my Head Mistress walked me to my class room.
As we entered, I stood behind her, because I was so scared about what the other children would say about me, but more importantly, think.
My Head Mistress introduced me, then I was forced to sit in the front row, next to a———- g i r l.
That girl changed my life.
Claire Baire was, and still is, the best thing to ever happen to me.
CB was the one person I could always count on, especially as she was the one who helped me realise who I truly was. I will always be so grateful to her for that.
However, my dilemma started: I had strong feelings for her, but in 1970, boys dated girls and vice versa, not boys dating boys or girls dating girls or weirdo/freaks like me, dating anybody.
When I was 6, my nightmares started: An older relative decided to start having their way with me. To date, I’ve still blocked out most of what happened, because even almost 50 years later, I’m sure those memories would not be beneficial. This person continued their molestation until I turned 14.
I felt so ashamed that I could not tell the one person who I trusted the most in the world, CB.
Honestly, I feel that I either pushed CB away, or she got tired of my elusiveness, either way, I 1000000000000% regret what I did.
CB, understandably got rid of me.
I wanted to chase after her, but was unable to, my father was the boss.
Secondary School was a nightmare, I was bullied by both boys and girls.
In 1981, Year 10, I was accused of touching the breast of another student. To this day, I say I did not, if I did, it was purely accidental. At the time, thanks to dad, I was Racist and Sexist. This student’s family was of Mediterranean Heritage.
I punished, 12 strokes of the cane on each hand, which really hurt.
However, the alleged victim’s “Friends” felt that my punishment was not severe enough. They decided to play a sick joke on me.
This “joke” resulted in me almost dying, I wish I had, as at age 16, my ability to procreate was taken away from me, by one these girls.
Some of the jobs I’ve had over the years:
Chicken Processing Factory, not as glamourous as one might think: Junk Yard Worker: Shoe Sales Man: Trolley Boy: Storeman (Stationery Warehouse, Chocolate Factory (I Know how to wrap Easter Eggs): Courier: Parcel Delivery Driver: Bus Driver: Short Order Cook/Stores Ordering Manager for my parents mixed business in Nth West NSW: Kitchen Hand: Blood Delivery Driver: Carer: Train and Station Cleaner, Includes Acting Team Leader: Volunteer Charity Call Centre Operator: Contract Domestic Cleaner: Call Centre Operator (Government Contract).
As you can see, most of these jobs were male dominated. This is for my own benefit to try and “Man UP,” but it has never worked.
In almost every job, I’ve been used and abused, which is why when employed, I keep quiet about myself. I also have major trust issues too, stemming back to the molestation and assault.
I’ve tried to maintain relationships, but none have worked out, I thought because I was so hung up on CB, but I’ll explain shortly why.
The 2nd worst day of my life was Friday November 11th, 1994: I arrived home from work to find out that CB had passed away, I missed her funeral by 6 hours.
That day is the first time, I seriously considered ending my life.
I’ve had people make assumptions about me, usually assuming that I want sex with every female I meet. Honestly, sex never enters my mind, and even when I tell people I’m not interested, they don’t believe me.
I prefer friendships over sex, because sex complicates things and I need a strong, mutually emotional connection with someone and be dating for at least 1 year, before I will consider sex.
The following has never been revealed to anyone before:
In 2010, after dad passed away, I struggled with my life, as I felt so alone and lost, that I contemplated committing suicide, only my train cleaning job stopped me.
2011, I was sent to another location, where there was someone from my original depot. I felt safe, but still empty inside. I enjoyed working there, but one day on my way to work, we worked Mon-Fri 12-8pm, Fri an additional shift 3-11pm. I didn’t feel like going in but decided to keep to myself.
Unfortunately, our Team Leader was a social butterfly, who couldn’t care less about others unless we served her purpose. She should have seen that there was something wrong with me but didn’t. Everyone thought I was upset and angry with them, no, I was thinking about dad.
As they made assumptions about me, I was reported to our Manager, who listened to me, and understood, but he had me transfer back to the main location.
I was partnered with a very lazy individual, who preferred to drink coffee most of the shift, instead of doing our job. I had not been notified that a certain part had changed, but instead of her talking to me in private, yelled at me in public.
I could feel myself getting angry and upset, and turned away to think and breathe, unfortunately, my partner, assumed that I was going to jump in front of a train. I hadn’t even thought about that.
I was taken back to the office, spoken to and suspended, on full pay, from duty. I was driven home and told that I was not allowed to travel on public transport until I had been cleared to return to work.
I lived an hour’s west of the city. three times per week, I was picked up and driven to the city for my counselling appointment, and driven home again.
This continued until the new year, of course, I heard of various negative things about me, which not matter what I said, no one believed me.
Upon returning, I was sent to another depot, however, my negative reputation proceeded me, and again, no matter what, I was lying. Again, I could not trust anyone at all, and would find quiet areas to breathe and cry. These males still have no idea how much crying I did, because of them.
When this depot was being privatised, I was offered Redundancy, and accepted it, mainly because of how much gossip mongering that went on with this organisation.
I’ve been accused of being gay, thief, drug user and dealer, and the worst: Paedophile.
But I have the last laugh: Every year, I obtain my Police Check, and every 5 years a Working With Children Check.
For added Security and Safety, I have written a Statutory Declaration, which each copy, I have witnessed me signing.
I want this on record officially, and it is the TRUTH:
I, Melissa Alison Wilma Jensen, Has NEVER had a sexual interest in anybody under the age of 18 and never will.
I wrote the above paragraph, because in 2018, an ex-friend spread a vicious lie online accusing me of being a paedophile, despite no evidence, many people believed her.
Yes, I could have commenced legal action against her, but there was a slim chance I would win.
This gurl, whose initials are JTM, who I believe resides somewhere between Central Coast and Newcastle, New South Wales, who told me some private secrets, which you are about to learn, because, hey, she hurt me, so I’m breaking one of my own rules: Privacy, but I only do that when someone hurts me, especially when they have breached my privacy.
FYI: JTM is a Pre-Op TransGurl, which makes these lies 100000000000000000000+% worse.
JTM told me that she wanted to remain a virgin until after her surgery, she would be 19 and out of school by then.
JTM also told me that she was not sure about her sexuality and had a crush on a friend. I feel this friend is the one behind JTM blocking me.
My original reason for writing my continuing series, was to raise enough funds, via eBook sales, to establish a Support Centre for rejected Transgenders worldwide.
But when these lies were brought to my attention, I decided to stop, however, after much negotiation, I am now planning this centre again.
I apologise to you all, if the above is TMI, however, I have written this and revealed about myself, to show that I’m human, and vulnerable just like you.
I believe in being honest with everyone, although, I have not revealed everything about myself, mainly because some things are still emotional for me.
Lastly, I always insist on written, signed agreements with almost everything, this is to ensure transparency for all concerned, those who refuse to agree, are not genuine, therefore, not worthy of my time.
I hope this has given you more insight into me, what you do now, is up to you.
But THANK YOU ALL, MUCH APPRECIATED.
melscustomisedcandles.com 